Nosiest...

I have an excellent collegue who is bothered abt everybody on earth and the living meaning of the word nosy...
FYI she is already engaged to a guy ( i really pity him) who is doing research in IIT( more pity), that too luv marriage (May be luv is deaf also).
Her typical questions ranges from How much tax are u paying or how much savings have u got ( i real feel it is none of her business) to hey is that guy Married or that gal has BF?
Her stingyness u cannot imagine yaar. If cakes and puffs are distributed on birthdays, she will eat one and take one ( donno how she takes without even a tint of shame).
she has been taking pappad, rasam and sambhar from our canteen for mere 5 Rs and she is suggesting me also to take free pappads given by our canteen people as though she is giving from her pocket ( heaven!!!!!!!)
I usually avoid taking lunch with her ... but one unfortunate day came where i had no other go..
Nosy Max: Padma, What is the role of appraisal in that xxx tool.
(our office internal tool for which i facilitate the usage part of it)
me: not much. and u should ask this to ur PL and not me. i don't own that tool u know..
me getting irritated..... i think she considers me the DBA of our office..
Nosy Max (changes topic): hey is our HR Ms. "yyyyy" married?
me:(with a sweet voice and wide smile) how does that bother you?
Nosy Max: no yaar.. actually i saw her with a guy one day morning that too when she is in her causals.. i think she is committed.
that's it .. she has reached the break point of my patience
me: it is not always neccesary that it has to be her boy friend. it can be her rakhi brother or own brother or cousin or even friend.. ( "such a dirty mind ")
Nosy Max: yaar which rakhi bro comes in the morning 8 am yaar..
I really got offended
me: my brothers come in any timings from morning 5 to night 10:30. (turning to the other person)Y people have such a cheap mentality that whenever a guy and gal speaks theat they need to have affair.
My another lunch mate was trying to conceal her laughter harder.
Nosy Max keeps quiet, couldn't argue more and had to nod her head.
Finally the lunch got over.. Thank god..
Evening I and my lunch mate were coming from the coffee shop near my office and i was having the Kwality walls stick icecream. Our Ms. Nosy max was coming in the opposite direction.
My lunch mate hey " ur friend is comin". she was grinning. I was regretting my bad fate.
Nosy Max : Padma u will catch cold yaar..
we were puzzled..questioning her with our hands.
Nosy Max: y r u eating icecreams from road side shop?
Me(obsiouly got irritated to the max) : This is quality walls.
Nosy Max : oh i thought u r eating icecream from a road side..
and she walked away.
(@####$$$$)
I wish i could slap her....